“He Was Extremely Nice and Equally Clueless. He Was Kinda Like the Old Boy Who Fell into a Barrel of Tits and Came Up Sucking His Thumb!"

I got the lines in the caption today from a woman describing a former lover.  I don't have a picture of him, so I used this one instead.  If anyone has a better one, send it in & I'll change it.
Thanks to P.