Monday, May 23, 2011

It is O'bama, not Obama.

I told you so.  Another Irish President, according to Bloomberg News:

While in Ireland today, the president is scheduled to visit Moneygall, a one-street town with a population of about 300 people in central Ireland. During the 2008 presidential campaign a local Anglican priest named Stephen Neill located baptismal records that established ties between Obama and the hamlet approximately 85 miles from Dublin.


Irish Link

In 1850 Obama’s great-great-great grandfather on his mother’s side, Falmouth Kearney, sailed for America at 19 years old, according to Ireland’s Ambassador to the U.S. Michael Collins.

“He was a shoemaker and his great-great-great grandson will be returning to Ireland” as U.S. president, Collins said during a briefing with reporters last week. “It’s a story about improbable success, almost of Irish legend and within his family story is a story of the Irish people, of resilience, courage, adaptability.”

The trip is “a very big moment, a moment of celebration and also a moment of purpose,” which will have an “unquantifiable” positive economic impact on the county that has been grappling with the effects of the global economic downturn, Collins said.

Ireland, which has a population of about 4.5 million, welcomed Queen Elizabeth II last week, marking the first visit by a British monarch to the Republic of Ireland since the country gained independence from the U.K.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Secular Humanist offer advice to potential Rapture Participants

At the time of this writing, it is only minutes until May 21st. 2011 arrives at the International dateline in the Pacitfic, and with it the long awaited Rapture event.  Perhaps the most significant event yet in human history, it is believed that as many as two hundred million naked persons will assend into the heavens, pailing manned spaceflights of the past.

It is not known whether the event will begin at midnight local time, or some later time in the day as no one knows for sure what time zone Jesus is in.  Some have theorized that it will be a rolling event, perhaps beginning at noon local standard time (God's time) around the earth.

In any event, NORAD is reported to be closely monitoring its defense radar system for any sign of Jesus and has assigned extra crews in case someone falls asleep or is raptured away.  Pagan crews are said to have been choosen to minimize the later risk. The FAA, for its part, is issuing flight precautions to pilots to be on the lookout for naked bodies and has indicated that if the skies become to congested it may be necessary to ground all aircraft, something that has been done only once before in aeronautical history -  911, also a relgious event of sorts.

In the mean time, the American Secular Huminist Society has expressed concern that no one who is a potential candidate for levitation should risk being left behind. If you watch FOX news regularly, are a member of the Tea Party, hate gays, have a drill baby drill sticker on your car, or a thing for Polosi, you hopefully are a potential candidate and should consider the following recomendations, according to the Society, in order to increase your chances of achieving rapture.

1) Beginning immediately, wear only light weight loose fitting clothes, loafters and no belt or suspenders.
2) Eat lightly all day and avoid any alcoholic beverages on May 21st., meth or any other drugs that Jesus may not approve off.
3) As birds of a feather may be viewed as flocking together, congregate with like minded friends and seed your environment with piles of empty clothes and play church music.
4) If you think your situation may be close, make it easier to be choosen, try tying on a few helium balloons to provide a little extra lift.

The Society admits it does not know if any of this will work but it can't hurt.  For now all we can do is wait, watch and hope.  If only Walter Cronkite was with us.

You might also enjoy:
http://rockhopers.blogspot.com/2011/05/law-firm-announces-rapture-suit.html

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Law Firm announces Rapture suit.

The popular Bible radio host, Harold Camping’s, prediction that the Rapture will occur on May 21st does not seem to have been meet with much credulity.   The Financial markets don’t seem to be anticipating the event, which in itself creates something of a dogmatic conflict for many American fundamentalist christians who believe in the infallibility of markets as well as the certainty of the second coming.  
In the realm of politics, there seems to be disbelief, even among those that should be the most receptive.  No doubt the rapture would decimate the Tea Party and strike a blow to the Republican Party’s base.  Yet there seems to be no planning afoot among the party’s elite to address this issue.  Perhaps they don’t anticipate being here and that is the reason they have postpone voting to raise the debt ceiling; sort of a last blow for fiscal discipline before they transit to the savior.  At the same time, however, the Democratic party does not appear to be thinking ahead about how they can exploit any congressional vacancies.
However, not all are skeptics.   A little Rock christian law firm, James and Bruce P.A. has issued a press release indicating that it has hired some pagan associates in order to be prepared to represent the pagan heirs of the departed, handling estate and life insurance claims.  Anticipating that the absence of bodies will present questions as to whether being departed is the same as being dead, the firm has retained a number of theological experts to testify on the topic.  The firm has expressed confidence that such testimony, combined with the common sense view that not being here is functionally the same as being dead, will be sufficient to prevail on the issue.  Others however, have noted that being present to testify might itself undermine the credibility of any such witnesses.  For sure the situation will presents some novel and thorny issues.
Those interested in consulting with the firm are referred to:

http://jamesbrucemcmathpersonal.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Supreme Court "Nippers" Listen to Their Master's Voices. TFB for Us.



The divided decision,[in AT&T Mobility LLC v. Concepcion, 2011 WL 1561956 (U.S. Apr. 27, 2011).] which struck down lower court rulings that found an AT&T class arbitration ban unconscionable, “leaves Americans with practically no recourse to challenge corporate wrongdoing and gives corporations a blueprint to draft forced arbitration clauses to avoid accountability for a wide range of unfair or illegal practices,” Gibson Vance.


Thursday, May 05, 2011

Happy Anniversary of the Battle of Puebla.

Both the Mexicans & the French gave 110%.  Though there can be only one winner, congratulations to both teams.  I love both countries even if one of them has changed its name to Freedom. 

Need Anything Else Mr. Limbaugh? Mr. Beck? Mr. Trump?













 Thanks to Cathi and Mary.