Merry Christmas From Virg n Mary n Walt Kelly

Hear the Short Version of Deck Us All With Boston Charlie by Clicking Here.
Other Verses:
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, 'lope with you!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

Duck us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' Polly Voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!

Tickle salty boss anchovie
Wash a wash a wall Anna Kangaroo
Ducky allus bows to Polly,
Prolly Wally would but har'ly do!

Dock us all a bowsprit, Solly --
Golly, Solly's cold and so's ol' Lou!

Here's a longer version:

 See, also

Mary Christmas

Virg n’ Mary Again Wish All A Mary Christmas.

MARY CHRISTMAS MADONNAS

Merry Christmas Holidays Virgil's Christmas Message

Christmas Is For All Children.

Christmas-Have a Good One, But Be Careful Out There

Christmas Day SURVIVAL

How the liberals stole Christmas

What Buddhists do at ChristmasTime

and, of course, Christmas For Cowboys. click here for the John Denver version but Wylie has some mighty nice yodeling.

Christmas As I Knew It

My cuz used this song in an ESL class he was teaching in Tokyo in nineteen and seventy-two. He seemed to think it important that the Japanese folk knew about the sharecroppper, hickernuts and gum boots part of America too. I like the song myself.

Shopping in Texas

Lessons About Giving A Wake From James The Bruce.

Virg:
Having asked you how you are doing, gives me an opening to tell you how I am doing, sort of.
I lost a childhood friend the other day. Not been very close in recent years and was not even aware of his critical health problems. Ticker stopped apparently, overburdened with many systemic problems. Great pragmatic guy, harmless and jolly. No service they said, only an Irish style wake! That would be Bran.
Too many business friends though, I suppose. They had no idea how a wake should be. Not a single story, not a single drunk, no music. All the more shame as he was young enough to be survived by friends that could still lift a glass.
(Personally I plan to out live most of my few friends or have run them off. I am doing pretty good on both fronts.)
However, I learned a few lessons about giving a wake, which I share because it seems such a good alternative to a "service", at least for those among us not looking to be serviced.

1. Don't say the event is private - people think they have to be invited and no one, especially in that situation, will know everyone to invite. Call it a wake in the obit, open to all who knew the deceased.

2. Don't schedule it to start too early; they did four "until" (the untill reflected some sense of what it was suppose to be obviously). People were streaming out as we were driving up at six - going to dinner I suppose even though there was a fair spread of food at the event. Why not it was such a bore. 5:30 or 6:00 at the earliest (seven might be better) so people don't have a chance to get in and get out before it gets interesting. If they are too busy to come and stay a bit, it is just as well that they not come at all.

3. Have some music - including a Celtic/folk fiddle. Not loud and obnoxious but poetic and up lifting. Run the music for about forty-five minutes while people arrive. Have someone at the door telling people that the floor will be open for recollections at X. Hopefully more will stay. Have the music take a break when the open mic begins and quit greeting at the door, it becomes a distraction.

4. Have Someone MC, have good acoustics or a mic and actively solicit participation including some good ones to get the ball rolling good. This is best done by someone with a central view of the various facets of the decease's social network and life so they can knit together the speakers to connect the dots. Someone needs to be filling glasses. An untended self serve bar sends a wrong message of parsimony and distracts people from the central activity. Tell people that they don't have to be storytellers; just saying who they are and how they know the common friend is enough.

5. Perhaps the hardest these days, have the right kind of friends. Most people in this stuffy overly starched country of ours aren't up to the kind of openhearted displays that a good wake involves. (People pretend to be relaxed - suits at work being rare etc. but the truth is the country is hung up.) Most people need to go to the Presbyterian church and hear a couple of other people give a stiff rote run down on the stiff and go home. They think life is watch football on TV, when it is really about making and burying friends.

6. Turn the music back on when people have had their say so there is a pleasant atmosphere for people to further explore each other, mutual experiences with the deceased (now that they have been introduced to or reintroduced to during the open mic), where they came from and where they have been. If done right, after the event, there are new friendships made or remade to make for more good wakes in the future.
Instead we have "services" run and dominated by professionals, often with little real knowledge of the deceased, people with their own agenda who mouth hollow platitudes - almost by rote; then we pat our friends in the face with shoves and are done with it. A few loved ones may be asked to render brief speeches but these are monologues not dialogues. Such services offer little real opportunity to truly celebrate a life lived, to voice a story now complete but not yet told. A wake offers a chance to tell that story, as story that no one person but the deceased can know in its entirety.
It is a challenge to pull off a wake in our spread out mobile superficial culture though. In its natural setting, there would be few strangers at a wake. The story of one is the story of many others in a tight knit community, "remember jim when the three of us....". Any stranger present at a wake in its native habitat would stand out clearly and could therefore be easily absorbed and made to tell his or her part of the story for everyone else to hear. In our society funerals are full of mutual strangers. A wake needs a community, to come off naturally; in ours it needs active management.
Having learned all this I am dying to give it a try.
JTB

Fitten Wake Music:

The Parting Glass (Wailin' Jennys here)

Rosin the Bow-(Patrick Sky, Pennywhistlers, and Pete Seeger here)

Three Dog Night's Joy To The World

The Dead's Broke Down Palace

I'll Fly Away (Gillian Welch and David Rawlings here)

Blood Sweat & Tears-And When I Die.

Finnegan's Wake (Clancy Brothers here)

Iris Dement's Let the Mystery Be (See Post Below)

let the mystery be

Sing it Iris.

Jesus & Huckabee Are Too Liberal for America

"The following message about 'The Tax and Spend Messiah' is brought to you by Conservative Christians Against the Teachings of Christ."

Huckabee Family Values

"Here’s the barebones story of how 18-year-old Mike Huckabee’s son, David, and 17-year-old Clayton Frady killed a dog when they were Boy Scouts, and got fired for it. From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette in 1998 (as quoted in DogBlog):

[David Huckabee,] the younger son of Gov. Mike Huckabee and another teen were fired last month from jobs at a Boy Scout camp after the killing of a stray dog.[..]

So, how and why did David Huckabee (and Clayton Frady) kill the dog?

The original story isn’t clear in the lead (the admissions and the details come as you read down). Still from the Democrat Gazette:

The dog was killed [passive voice] July 11 at Camp Pioneer near Hatfield.[..]

I believe the following is the faxed description of the “particular process.” It’s on a reputable site, Utopia Animal Rescue, which is run by, of all people, Kinky Freidman:

(Miller County, Arkansas) Two boy scout counselors, 17 year old Clayton Frady and 18 year old David litickabee [sic], the son of Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, have admitted to catching a stray dog during their summer session at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, AR, and hanging the dog by his neck, slitting his throat and stoning him to death.

Lambert notices that Michael Isikoff’s coverage of the story for Newsweek is particularly lacking in investigative curiosity on how David Huckabee killed the dog, which as you can see above, really does color the event.

Digby’s on top of this too. The Huckster’s son seems to be a real winner and his father tried to cover up his sick, twisted behavior — the same kind of behavior that landed former NFL star Michael Vick in prison."

Huckabee Squashed Charges Against His Son For Stoning, Hanging Dog By: Logan Murphy

Thanks to PMS for the tip.

Obama, Clinton, Dodd, and Biden Dodge Bullet After Endorsing Lieberman-Talk Him into Endorsing McCain.

Here's what Obama said, "'The fact of the matter is, I know some in the party have differences with Joe. I'm going to go ahead and say it,' Obama told the 1,700-plus party members who gathered in a ballroom at the Connecticut Convention Center for the $175-per-head fundraiser.
'I am absolutely certain Connecticut is going to have the good sense to send Joe Lieberman back to the U.S. Senate so he can continue to serve on our behalf,' he said." Obama rallies state Democrats, throws support behind Lieberman By Stephanie Reitz
When some of Hillary's supporters, who actually wanted Joe to reciprocate and endorse her, contacted Lieberman to complain he is reported to have said "You knew darn well I was a snake before you took me in." Click here to Hear Johnny Rivers sing The Snake

Money for Nuthin-New Bush Coins

Thanks to Dr. Steve.

Jud Strunk - Daisy A Day

Five Feet High and Rising.

I often wear light clothes in the winter and rarely wear a coat. People I know & don't know often walk up to me and question my sanity. It was cold and raining yesterday when I went to get gas in shorts and a T-Shirt. A cowboy wearing his full winter outfit at the next pump looked at me and said "Looks like we'll be blessed with a little more rain." I said "Five Feet High & Rising, Johnny Cash." He said, "Yep, that was my momma's favorite song." I liked it a lot too. Thanks, cowboy.

Mike Huckabee On Girls Rights

“In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: ‘I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention.’ What was in the family statement from the SBC? ‘A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.’

The ad wasn't just a blanket, ‘we support the SBC statement,’ but rather highlighted details. The ad Huckabee signed specifically said of the SBC family statement: ‘You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband's sacrificial leadership.’

Add ‘graciously submit’ to his ‘Take back the nation for Christ’ statement, and if the media does its job, he's well on his way to being toast.” Huckabee: women's role in marriage is to "graciously submit" by 4fx

Red On Yellow, Kill a Fellow. Red On Black, Friend of Jack. Huckabee Has It Both Ways.

"It is . . . Mr. Huckabee’s call for the quarantine of people with AIDS (well, the ones who got it having fun) that will act as catnip in places like South Carolina (outside of the better decorated homes in Charleston). Such medically-unsound, prejudice-pandering ignorance so artfully evokes nostalgia for the Reagan Administration, it may prove irresistible to a party eager to look back several administration in hopes of finding one that actually seemed to work, if only when seen through the generously gauzy veils of sentimentality.
Frankly, I don’t understand the outrage over Mr. Huckabee’s call to quarantine people with AIDS. I thought America had already quarantines all gays. In places called “fashionable cities.'”

Nonetheless, a Southern Baptist preacher as President may prove ineluctable as America moves closer to becoming a theocracy. This righteous path is in defiance of Article VI of the Constitution, which peskily provides that 'no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.' The Founding Fathers, always eager to confound those of us eager to impute Christian zealotry to them 200 years later, would be a lot more infuriating if anyone actually still paid attention to the nonsense they scribbled about so-called 'rights' and 'separations.' . . .They would also be surprised to witness that this century’s religious fervor extends to dismantling their cumbersome Three Equal, but Separate Branches of Government tomfoolery. Today, American Christians look at those three branches as we do the Trinity. Three as One. With One of the Three doing all the talking."

Mike Huckabee: Going Toe to Wingtip with the Taliban by Mrs. Betty Bowers

See also, Mike Huckabee, Not a Crook, Not a Weirdo, Not a Mormon

Bush: Pathological liar or idiot-in-chief?

"We have either a president who is too dishonest to restrain himself from invoking World War III about Iran at least six weeks after he had to have known that the analogy would be fantastic, irresponsible hyperbole, or we have a president too transcendently stupid not to have asked, at what now appears to have been a series of opportunities to do so, whether the fairy tales he either created or was fed were still even remotely plausible."
Thanks to Mr. or Mrs. Principal Bev.

Jonah & Kinky Comment On Christmas

"This is part of an annual epidemic. In New Jersey, thieves made off with 27 statues of Baby Jesus, and in Chicago someone stole 32 plastic replicas of the Christ Child. In Plaistow, New Hampshire, someone filched the plastic Baby Jesus from the front lawn of a home and replaced it with a beer can.
More distressing are the actions of those who try to kidnap the real Jesus year 'round and hold him hostage for their own gain. Take the words from the Sermon on the Mount, for instance. We are told, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God," but they are hard to find in these parts. We are advised, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, ... For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also," yet some vigorously ignore that advice. And when told, "Judge not, that ye be not judged," there are some who are ready to condemn immigrants seeking a better life or others wishing to adopt homeless children.
Who really stole Baby Jesus?" from, But Who Stole Jesus, by Jonah

"We Jews believe it was Santa Claus who killed Jesus Christ." from They Ain't Makin Jews Like Jesus Anymore, by Kinky Friedman

Betty Bowers Is Running for President-Exposes What Mitt Romney’s Not Telling You About The Mormon Cult

What Mitt Carefully (and Wisely) Avoided Telling Everyone about Mormonism:

The Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri. No wonder Eve came up with a ruse to get kicked out!

• Mormons believe that Jesus’ brother is Satan. We all know that’s a lie. Satan’s brother is called Jeb.
• That if you send cash to Salt Lake City now — operators are standing by to give you a fabulous gift in the afterlife — your very own planet! In other words, Mormonism is really just a real estate scam straight out of Glengarry Glen Ross. In fairness: As illusory incentives go, a whole planet is hard to top.
• Mormon men become gods. Since the Judeo-Christian God is a jealous (some would go so far as to say insecure) god, who took a dim view to the Jews worshipping other gods, one can only imagine how much it gets in His craw to have an American religion that is generating gods like a South Korean assembly line.
• Mormons believe Jesus and God are physical beings. Much like Beyonce and Diana Ross before her, they don’t go for trinities. Frankly, this must make eating out with God and Jesus far more economical. From my experience it’s always Three Beings when we’re eating, but only One when it comes time to split the check!
• God is a physical being with a real penis, which He uses. Often. Pardon the expression, but I don’t want to touch this.
• According to my copy of the The Book of Mormon (courtesy of a Marriott Hotel wastebasket), Native-American “Indians” are really Jews that came from Jerusalem by crossing the Atlantic Ocean in a boat in 600 B.C. The Atlantic, notoriously choppy in the best to weather, apparently scrambled every seafaring Jew’s DNA to make it look like they actually came from Southeast Asia! Sneaky!
• Joseph Smith was visited by the Angel Moroni, an American Indian who, perhaps in anticipation of the racist attitudes of the faith he is about to set in motion, had the good sense to appear as a white man.
• The book of Mormon was dictated by Joseph Smith as he stuffed his face into a hat containing two stones. These magical “seer stones” would be right out of Hogwarts Academy, if only they had worked. Smith had previously used them to con farmers into paying him to find buried treasure on their property. And His “translations” of Egyptian are what you would expect if Fantasia Burino translated the Iliad from Greek.
• Joseph Smith had 30 wives. Not as many as Solomon, but still a thriving personal brothel.
• 11 of Smith’ s wives, and 9 of his first 13 wives, were already married to other men. Making him the Angelina Jolie of the false-prophet set.
• You never see Mormons in porn because they can’t take off their magical undies. These magic skivvies reputedly protect the wearer from bullets, which makes it surprising that the faith isn’t more popular with the criminal set. And, speaking of unflattering outfits, in Mormon ceremonies, the men dress like Keebler elves and act out the slitting of their own throats that will occur if they tell anyone how silly their rituals make them look.
• And the biggest Mormon secret: Marie Osmond, with her multiple marriages, public breakdowns and son in rehab, is actually considered very edgy by Provo standards.
• (CLICK HERE for more amusing information

Real God Questions You'll Never Hear From The Presidential Candidate Jesus's Name Dropers

I received this from a friend:

A Thought for you.... (if you believe there is a burning Hell)

"If an endless hell of torment for the wicked is a necessary part of God's arrangement, and if God has to have a Devil employed to run the place and keep the fires going, then there is no getting around the fact that God and the Devil are business associates and good friends. If there is an endless hell of torment in God's scheme at all, it is a very important part of the scheme; and surely God would not appoint his worst enemy to such an important position as general supertindent of hell.

Suppose for the sake of argument that God needs an endless hell in His business and suppose that God had employed his enemy to run the place, do you not see that the enemy could take advantage of God and let the fire go smack out or that he might go to the other extreme and waste the brimstone or burn out the flues and do much damage that way?

Where there is so much fire there would be constant danger of having the whole place burn up.

So you see God would need a man on the job that he could trust, one who could be depended upon to run Hell in a perfectly honest and Christian-like manner.

Now, I put it up to you plainly and honestly:

If the Devil is as mean and low-down and tricky as people say he is,

do you honestly believe God would keep such a character on His payroll

throughout eternity and trust him with the all-important business affairs of the everlasting life work?

What do you think about it?"--Unknown

Rev. Sandi claims to have proof on the (gasp!) church bulletin board that cuz Jim worked in the kitchen on Thanksgiving. Still, she has credability when it comes to theology. Here's her response:

The article you sent led me to A New Handbook of Christian Theology which points out that we have 3 separate propositions about evil which traditional Christianity affirms: (1) God, the creator, is omnipotent (all-powerful); (2) God is benevolent (all-good); and (3) evil exits. Another way to state the dilemma is this: If God is able to prevent evil (as #1 implies) and does not, then #2 must be false. If God wants to prevent evil (as #2 implies) and cannot, then #1 must be false. If God is able and willing and does, in fact, prevent evil, then #3 must be false.

The author of the article points out that as long as human suffering and belief in a loving God coexist, people will continue to wrestle with the problem of evil, and Christian theology will, at its best, employ its reflective resources to help them live with the question.
My answer to the closing question, "What do you think about it?" is that humanity is given free will...we choose our own hell, the place of brokenness and separation, an emptiness that is beyond the range of our language.

See, also Battleground God & Do It Yourself Deity.

For another view, click here to hear Old Time God.

Huckabee's Hutzpah-How big a whopper was it?

"The morning Huck has much to choose from, including: When his former senior aide puts the lie to his alibi on working to free Wayne Dumond, what does Mike Huckabee do? Blame it on liberals, of course. " How big a whopper was it?

All God's Creatures Got A Place In The Choir

Just because all God's creatures have a place in the choir doesn't mean they all ought to be president. Romney's right about religious freedom being important, but I'd vote for a yellow dog or a white salamander before I'd vote for him. I've seen little evidence that he's tolerant of much of anybody except the similarly intolerant and theologically stunted whom he'd throw under the bus as he did Larry Craig if it would get him elected. See, Romney Speech Reflects Inaccurate Understanding Of Church-State Relations, Says Americans United I trust Tommy Makem & the Clancy Brothers any day over Romney on religious issues and that's no bull. Take it away boys:

Ronnie Floyd On Love, Wife Beating, & Nagging.

Ronnie Floyd talked about love on his morning show today. To his credit, he bemoaned the fact that some men will beat their wives. He also said that some women will nag their husbands until they (the husbands) wish that their wives would beat them. Then he equated the two, saying that a wife nagging is the same as a husband beating. They ain't the same, Ronnie. One causes pain, physical injury, and even death. The other doesn't. I was expecting you to say "if she would just shut up, she wouldn't get beaten." You didn't. Thanks for that, Perhaps She will spare you on judgment day.