Ban Brazilians & Just Say No To Hardwood

I’m saddened by the aversion young people have to hair.  I had heard about Brazilians several years ago, by accident and never dreamed "normal" people would do it.  A year or two ago, a young man confided in me that his wife made him shave his chest and back, but I just thought she was a bit kinky.  Not until last night did I discover that this practice has become mainstream and that the terms “hardwood” & “landing strip” are code words to describe the state of a woman’s hair.  The young women who told me this also informed me that a man with hair on his chest is no longer considered attractive and body hair in general is a turn off.  
As Young Art would say, "This shit just ain't right." Hair is beautiful and signifies adulthood.  I’m sure there are folks who are not pedophiles who prefer a hairless lover, but it’s just not natural.  This madness must stop!  Please don’t muff the opportunity to be the self that God made.  If this continues, we'll have to do another musical.