Proposed Federal Marriage Amendment

Let’s face it. Preventing gays from getting married does not really protect marriage. Virgil, recognizing the importance of the sanctity and protection of marriage to the future of our country, proposes the following constitutional amendment:

Article
SECTION 1.
Marriage in the United States is the backbone of our nation and culture and shall not be violated. There shall be no divorce or infidelity. Neither this Constitution or the constitution of any State, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to allow divorce or infidelity.
SECTION 2.
Infidelity shall be punished as follows:
First offence: 50 lashes with a rattan cane.
Second Offence: Castration
Third Offence: Death by stoning.